Wellbeing - Sara Vida

How To Calm Your Nervous System Without Meditating

Sara Vida — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 10:45:59 +0000

How To Calm Your Nervous System Without Meditating

Trauma-informed somatic tools for women who feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and stuck in stress mode

By Sara Vida, Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, NHS Health & Wellbeing Coach, and Pilates Instructor

When Sitting Still Feels Like Failure

Have you ever been told to “just meditate” — and felt like screaming inside?

You want to feel calm. You crave stillness. But your body? It’s stuck in go-mode. Wired, restless, heavy with tension.

You’re tired — bone-deep tired — from holding it all together. Tired of being told to “slow down” when your body doesn’t know how. Tired of wanting peace… but feeling like it’s just out of reach.

Maybe you’ve tried meditating. Maybe more than once. But instead of quiet, you were met with chaos — louder thoughts, racing breath, a body that wouldn’t settle.

And in that stillness, instead of calm… you felt like you were doing it wrong.

Let me be clear: I’m not against meditation. It can be powerful, even life-changing. But when your nervous system is in survival mode, stillness can feel like pressure — like one more thing you’re meant to do right. For many of us, especially those who are neurodivergent, or healing from trauma or burnout, meditation isn’t always the first step.

It’s not a failure. It’s just a sign your system needs a different doorway in.

Let’s talk about that doorway.

You’re Not Doing It Wrong — Your Nervous System Just Needs Something Different

If stillness has ever made you feel more anxious, I see you. For many women — especially those recovering from toxic relationships, emotional neglect, or years of chronic stress — sitting in silence doesn’t feel safe.

In fact, it can feel like one more thing you’re “failing” at. But here’s the truth: your body is wired to survive, not to sit still.

Your nervous system isn’t malfunctioning — it’s trying to protect you. It’s just asking for a different kind of support.

You don’t need to force meditation to feel calm. You need tools that meet your body where it’s at.

As a trauma-informed somatic coach and NHS wellbeing practitioner, I’ve spent over a decade helping women gently reconnect with their bodies — without pushing, forcing, or bypassing their nervous systems.

If sitting still feels impossible right now — that’s okay. Let’s start somewhere softer. Somewhere doable. Here are five somatic tools to regulate your nervous system — no meditation required.

1. Shake to Release Stress

Ever watched an animal shake after a close call? That’s not random — it’s nature’s way of discharging tension. We’re wired the same way.

We store stress in our muscles, our jaws, our shoulders, our guts. Shaking — or neurogenic tremoring — is one of the fastest ways to move that stress out of your body.

Try this:

Stand with your feet hip-width apart
Gently bounce through your heels
Let your arms, shoulders, and jaw hang loose
Shake for 2–3 minutes
Then pause… and notice what shifted

You don’t need to “do it right.” You just need to let go.

“Your body isn’t the problem. It’s the portal.”

Mind UK – Understanding Anxiety

2. Use Self-Touch to Feel Safe and Grounded

Your own hands can signal safety to your nervous system. It’s simple. It’s science. It’s somatic.

Try this:

Sit or lie down somewhere quiet
Place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly
Breathe slowly for 1–2 minutes
Feel the warmth of your own presence

You can also cup your cheeks, wrap your arms around your body, or place a hand behind your neck. These actions help your system soften — especially if you’re neurodivergent or prone to sensory overload.

3. Exhale With Sound

Adding sound to your breath activates the vagus nerve — helping your body shift into rest-and-digest mode.

Try this:

Inhale through your nose
Exhale through your mouth with sound — like a long “haaah” or “vooo”
Repeat 5–10 times
Notice what softens

Don’t worry about how you sound. This is for you.

NHS – Breathing Exercises for Stress

4. Move Your Spine, Gently

When we’re stressed or triggered, we curl in. Spinal movement tells your body, “You’re safe now.”

Try this:

Sit on a chair or mat with your feet grounded
Drop your chin and round your spine forward slowly
Pause
Then roll back up, one vertebra at a time
Inhale as you lift, exhale as you curve

This gentle rolling opens your chest and restores flow. It’s especially powerful if you feel frozen or disconnected.

Movement for regulation and trauma healing – SaraVida.co

5. Ground With the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

This sensory grounding technique is perfect when your thoughts spiral or you feel out of body.

Try this:

5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

This reorients your nervous system to the safety of the present moment.

Anxiety UK – Grounding Techniques

Peace Starts in Your Body

Start small. Let it be simple.

You don’t need to force calm. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need support that feels safe.

These practices aren’t meant to be one more thing on your to-do list. They’re an invitation. To soften. To return. To begin again — one breath, one shake, one touch at a time.

Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s asking for care.

Bonus: Common Questions

What if I still feel overwhelmed after trying these?

That’s okay. These tools build capacity slowly, like watering a plant. Be gentle. Reach out if you need support — I’m here.

Do I need to do all five?

Nope. One is plenty. Pick the one that feels most doable today. That’s your doorway in.

How often should I practice them?

Try once a day or a few times a week. Even a few minutes can begin to shift your baseline.

Ready To Feel Safe in Your Body Again?

Book a Free 1:1 Discovery Call

If you’re feeling stuck in survival mode — overwhelmed, exhausted, or emotionally on edge — let’s talk. This free, no-pressure call is a gentle space to explore what’s going on in your nervous system and how somatic support can help you feel grounded, safe, and empowered again.

You don’t have to do this alone. I’d be honored to walk with you.

Book Your Free Call Now

Written by Sara Vida, Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, NHS Health & Wellbeing Coach, and Pilates Instructor with over 12 years of experience helping women reconnect with their bodies and reclaim calm.

The post How To Calm Your Nervous System Without Meditating first appeared on Sara Vida.

International Women’s Day: A Reflection by Sara Vida

Sara Vida — Sat, 08 Mar 2025 16:38:42 +0000

International Women’s Day: The Impact of Midlife on Women’s Mental Health

International Women’s Day serves as a powerful reminder to reflect on the unique challenges women face across various stages of life. While the conversation often focuses on issues like gender equality, reproductive rights, and workplace discrimination, one aspect that remains under explored is the psychological impact of midlife on women’s mental health.

As a woman who has recently turned 50, I have found midlife to be a period of profound psychological and physiological transformation. In my twenties and thirties, I could mask my social anxieties and power through challenges without much reflection. However, as I entered my forties, I experienced a significant shift. The onset of menopause, compounded by years of unresolved trauma, led to a state of nervous system burnout that could no longer be ignored.

Research shows that midlife is a critical period for women’s mental health. According to a study published in The Lancet Psychiatry, women aged 45-55 experience a peak in depressive symptoms, often linked to hormonal changes and the stress of balancing multiple roles.

Additionally, unresolved trauma can resurface during this time, manifesting as anxiety, depression, or chronic stress. Understanding the somatic nature of trauma—how it is stored in the body rather than just the mind—has been key to navigating this complex phase of life.

This article explores how midlife can act as a catalyst for addressing unresolved trauma and why a somatic, trauma-informed approach is essential for healing.

The Hormonal and Neurological Impact of Midlife

Menopause is often portrayed as a purely physical transition, characterised by symptoms such as hot flushes, weight gain, and fatigue. However, its impact on the brain is profound. A study published in Nature Reviews Endocrinology indicates that declining oestrogen levels during menopause affect neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which play crucial roles in mood regulation. This hormonal upheaval can exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions, making it more challenging for women to manage anxiety and depression.

In my case, the hormonal fluctuations of menopause significantly heightened my anxiety and disrupted my ability to regulate stress effectively. The coping mechanisms that served me well in my younger years—like compartmentalising emotions and maintaining a busy schedule—began to fail. This is not unusual. The American Psychological Association (APA) has noted that the stress response becomes less flexible with age, particularly for women, making it harder to recover from traumatic triggers. The result is a nervous system that feels perpetually on edge, unable to return to a state of equilibrium.

Trauma in the Body: The Somatic Perspective

Traditional approaches to trauma often focus on cognitive processing—understanding and re-framing traumatic events. While this can be beneficial, it overlooks a critical component: how trauma is stored in the body. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading trauma researcher and author of The Body Keeps the Score, argues that trauma fundamentally alters the body’s stress response system, causing physiological symptoms that cannot be resolved through talk therapy alone (Bessel van der Kolk). This understanding aligns with my own experience of midlife. The anxiety that I could previously rationalise away became unmanageable, manifesting physically as chronic tension, fatigue, and hypervigilance.

Somatic trauma-informed approaches offer a pathway to address this. By focusing on body-based interventions—such as breathwork, grounding exercises, and mindful movement—women can learn to regulate their nervous systems more effectively. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology supports the efficacy of somatic techniques, showing that they significantly reduce symptoms of PTSD and anxiety by targeting the autonomic nervous system. For me, incorporating somatic practices was transformative. Simple techniques like deep diaphragmatic breathing and progressive muscle relaxation helped recalibrate my stress response, allowing me to process emotions that had been stored in my body for decades.

The Role of Interoception in Healing

Interoception, or the ability to sense internal bodily states, is a crucial aspect of somatic trauma-informed approaches. For many women, especially those who have experienced trauma, this sense is often dulled or distorted. A study published in Psychological Science found that improving interoceptive awareness can significantly reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation. Interoceptive exercises—such as body scans and mindful attention to physical sensations—have been instrumental in my own healing process. By learning to recognise and interpret bodily signals accurately, I was able to distinguish between genuine threats and trauma-related triggers, reducing my overall sense of anxiety and hypervigilance.

Midlife as an Opportunity for Integration

Midlife is often depicted as a period of loss—of youth, fertility, and identity. However, it can also be an opportunity for profound integration and healing. Jungian psychology refers to this stage as the “second half of life,” a time when individuals are called to integrate the unconscious parts of themselves that were neglected in the first half. This resonates with my experience. As my nervous system forced me to confront unresolved trauma, I found that midlife was less about reinvention and more about integration—bringing together the fragmented parts of my identity and history into a coherent whole.

A study in The American Journal of Psychiatry supports this perspective, showing that individuals who engage in trauma-focused interventions during midlife report higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional resilience. The somatic trauma-informed approach, by addressing both the mind and the body, facilitates this integration process. It empowers women to move beyond merely surviving past traumas to actively thriving in the present.

Reclaiming Agency Over Our Bodies

For women, societal conditioning often teaches us to distrust our bodies—to view them as flawed, unpredictable, or dangerous. This internalised distrust can make it difficult to engage fully with somatic practices, which require a willingness to listen to the body’s signals without judgement. However, as feminist theorists like Dr. Audre Lorde have argued, reclaiming agency over our bodies is a revolutionary act. It challenges patriarchal narratives that reduce women’s worth to their reproductive or aesthetic functions (Sister Outsider). In this sense, somatic trauma-informed coaching is not just a therapeutic tool but a political one—a way for women to reclaim sovereignty over their bodies and their narratives.

Looking Forward: Midlife as a Catalyst for Change

International Women’s Day is an opportunity to reframe midlife not as a crisis but as a catalyst for growth. By addressing the somatic impact of trauma, women can transform this stage of life into one of profound self-awareness and empowerment. This approach acknowledges that healing is not about erasing the past but about integrating it into a more resilient and authentic self.

For those navigating midlife, somatic trauma-informed coaching offers a scientifically grounded, compassionate pathway forward. It allows women to process and release the trauma stored in their bodies, restore balance to their nervous systems, and embrace the next chapter of life with clarity and strength. In doing so, it transforms midlife from a period of loss into an opportunity for profound growth and liberation.

International Women’s Day reminds us of the importance of honouring all stages of a woman’s life—especially those that society often stigmatises or overlooks. By embracing midlife with honesty, compassion, and a commitment to somatic healing, women can reclaim this phase as a time of empowerment and self-discovery.

If reading this has resonated with you and you’re finding midlife to be a complex and challenging time, please know that you’re not alone. Sometimes, having a space to talk things through with someone who understands can make all the difference. If you feel that support could help, I welcome you to reach out and connect. You can book a discovery call with me, simply as a space to share your experiences and explore what you might need going forward—no pressure or obligation.

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The Power of Saying No: Why it isn’t a Selfish Act, blog by Sara Vida

Sara Vida — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 16:48:07 +0000

In our fast-paced and demanding world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant stream of requests and obligations that come our way. We often find ourselves saying “yes” to everything, fearing that saying “no” might be seen as selfish or unhelpful. However, it’s important to recognise that saying “no” is not only a valid choice but also a powerful act of self-care and personal growth. In this blog post, we’ll explore why saying no isn’t a selfish act and how it can positively impact our lives.

Setting Boundaries

One of the key reasons why saying no is not selfish is that it allows us to set healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for maintaining our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. By saying no to certain requests or commitments, we are prioritising our own needs and ensuring that we have the time and energy to take care of ourselves. This self-care is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and preventing burnout.

Honouring Our Values

Saying no also enables us to honour our values and stay true to ourselves. Each of us has unique priorities, passions, and goals in life. When we say yes to everything without considering our values, we risk spreading ourselves too thin and losing sight of what truly matters to us. By saying no to opportunities or requests that don’t align with our values, we create space for the things that truly bring us joy and fulfilment.

Fostering Authentic Relationships

Contrary to popular belief, saying no can actually strengthen our relationships. When we say yes to everything out of a fear of disappointing others, we may end up resenting the commitments we’ve made. This can lead to a lack of authenticity in our interactions and a strain on our relationships. By saying no when necessary, we communicate our boundaries and allow for more genuine connections based on mutual respect and understanding.

Personal Growth and Empowerment

Saying no is an act of personal growth and empowerment. It requires self-awareness, assertiveness, and the courage to prioritise our own needs. By practicing saying no, we develop a stronger sense of self and become more confident in our decision-making abilities. This empowerment extends beyond our personal lives and can positively impact our professional endeavours as well.

Cultivating a Positive Impact

Lastly, saying no allows us to focus our time and energy on the things that truly matter to us and where we can make the most significant impact. By saying no to certain opportunities, we create space for the ones that align with our passions and allow us to contribute meaningfully. This intentional focus enables us to make a positive difference in our own lives and the lives of others.

In conclusion, saying no is far from being a selfish act. It is a powerful tool for setting boundaries, honouring our values, fostering authentic relationships, promoting personal growth, and cultivating a positive impact. By embracing the power of saying no, we can create a life that is aligned with our true selves and make a meaningful difference in the world. So, don’t be afraid to say no when it’s necessary – it’s an act of self-care and empowerment that can transform your life for the better.

Remember, you have the power to shape your own experiences. If you need any further guidance or support, feel free to email me on sara@saravida.co

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How Tapping Alters the Brain: A Simple Technique with Powerful Effects, blog by Sara Vida

Sara Vida — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 16:23:55 +0000

Have you ever heard of tapping? It’s a simple yet powerful technique that involves gently tapping on specific points on your body while focusing on a particular issue or emotion.

But have you ever wondered how tapping actually affects your brain? In this blog post, we’ll explore the fascinating ways in which tapping can alter your brain and bring about positive changes in your well-being.

Understanding the Brain

Before we dive into how tapping alters the brain, let’s first understand a bit about the brain itself. The brain is a complex organ that controls our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and bodily functions. It is made up of billions of nerve cells called neurons that communicate with each other through electrical and chemical signals. Different areas of the brain are responsible for different functions, such as memory, emotions, and movement.

The Science Behind Tapping

Tapping, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), combines elements of traditional Chinese medicine, psychology, and neuroscience. By tapping on specific acupressure points on the body, you stimulate the body’s energy meridians, which are believed to be connected to different organs and emotions. This stimulation helps to restore balance and harmony in the body’s energy system.

Tapping and the Amygdala

One of the key ways tapping alters the brain is by influencing the amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep within the brain. The amygdala plays a crucial role in processing emotions, particularly fear and stress responses. When we experience negative emotions or stress, the amygdala becomes activated, triggering a cascade of physiological and emotional responses. Tapping has been shown to reduce the amygdala’s activity, helping to calm the stress response and promote emotional well-being.

Tapping and the Prefrontal Cortex

Another area of the brain that is affected by tapping is the prefrontal cortex, which is located at the front of the brain. The prefrontal cortex is involved in higher-order cognitive functions, such as decision-making, problem-solving, and regulating emotions. During times of stress or emotional distress, the prefrontal cortex can become less active, making it difficult to think clearly and make rational decisions. Tapping has been found to increase the activity in the prefrontal cortex, helping to restore cognitive function and emotional regulation.

Tapping and Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to change and reorganise itself in response to experiences and learning. Tapping has been shown to promote neuroplasticity by creating new neural connections and pathways in the brain. This can lead to positive changes in thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

By tapping on specific acupressure points, you are not only influencing the body’s energy system but also rewiring your brain for greater well-being.

Final Thoughts

Tapping is a simple yet effective technique that can have profound effects on your well-being. By tapping on specific acupressure points, you can influence key areas of the brain, reduce stress, and promote emotional balance. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or any other emotional challenge, tapping can be a valuable tool in your self-care toolkit.

Give it a try and experience the positive changes it can bring to your life!

I hope you found this blog post informative and inspiring! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to email me on sara@saravida.co

Check out my free ‘Reset Your Nervous System’ Guide with more info on how to use the Tapping technique or email me sara@saravida.co

The post How Tapping Alters the Brain: A Simple Technique with Powerful Effects, blog by Sara Vida first appeared on Sara Vida.

5 Great Pilates Exercises for Menopause, blog by Sara Vida

Sara Vida — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 14:30:53 +0000

Menopause is a natural phase in a woman’s life that brings about hormonal changes and various physical and emotional symptoms. During this time, it’s important to prioritise your health and well-being. One great way to do that is by incorporating Pilates exercises into your routine. Pilates can help alleviate menopause symptoms, improve strength and flexibility, and promote overall well-being.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the 5 best Pilates exercises for menopause.

1. Pelvic Curl

The pelvic curl is a fantastic exercise for menopausal women as it helps strengthen the core, improve spinal mobility, and release tension in the lower back. To perform this exercise, lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Inhale to prepare, then exhale as you lift your hips off the mat, one vertebra at a time. Inhale at the top, then exhale as you roll back down to the starting position. Repeat for 8-10 repetitions.

2. Spine Twist

The spine twist is a wonderful exercise for improving spinal mobility and relieving tension in the back and hips. Lie on your mat with your legs lifted in a table top position. Inhale to prepare, then exhale as you rotate your torso to one side, the movement comes from your abdominals not the legs. Inhale to return to the centre, then exhale as you rotate to the other side. Repeat for 8-10 repetitions on each side.

3. Swan Dive

The swan dive exercise targets the back muscles, helping to improve posture and alleviate back pain. Lie on your stomach with your arms extended overhead. Inhale to prepare, then exhale as you lift your chest and arms off the mat, keeping your gaze forward. Inhale at the top, then exhale as you lower back down. Repeat for 8-10 repetitions.

4. Side Leg Lifts

Side leg lifts are excellent for strengthening the hips, thighs, and glutes. Lie on your side with your legs extended and stacked on top of each other. Inhale to prepare, then exhale as you lift your top leg towards the ceiling, keeping it straight. Inhale at the top, then exhale as you lower it back down. Repeat for 8-10 repetitions on each side.

5. Chest Expansion

The chest expansion exercise helps improve posture and open up the chest, which can be beneficial during menopause when women may experience changes in posture and breathing. Stand tall with your feet hip-width apart and your arms extended in front of you, holding onto a resistance band. Inhale to prepare, then exhale as you pull the band apart, squeezing your shoulder blades together. Inhale to return to the starting position. Repeat for 8-10 repetitions.

Remember to always listen to your body and modify the exercises as needed. If you’re new to Pilates, it’s a good idea to work with a certified instructor who can guide you through the exercises and ensure proper form.

Incorporating these 5 Pilates exercises into your routine can help you manage menopause symptoms, improve strength and flexibility, and promote overall well-being. Give them a try and see how they make you feel!

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The Power of Somatic Work: Unlocking Your Body’s Wisdom, blog by Sara Vida

Sara Vida — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 14:17:37 +0000

Have you ever felt like there’s more to your emotions and experiences than just what’s happening in your mind? Well, you’re not alone! Many people are discovering the incredible value of somatic work in understanding and transforming their lives. So, what exactly is somatic work, and why is it so valuable?

What is Somatic Work?

Somatic work is an approach that recognises the deep connection between our mind, body, and emotions. It acknowledges that our bodies hold valuable wisdom and insights that can guide us towards healing, growth, and self-discovery. Unlike traditional talk therapy that focuses primarily on the mind, somatic work incorporates the body’s sensations, movements, and postures to access and process emotions and traumas.

Why is Somatic Work Valuable?

Embodied Healing: Somatic work allows us to tap into the wisdom of our bodies, helping us heal from past traumas and emotional wounds. By paying attention to bodily sensations and movements, we can release stored tension, process unresolved emotions, and create a sense of wholeness and integration.
Increased Self-Awareness: Our bodies are constantly communicating with us, but we often ignore or dismiss these signals. Somatic work helps us develop a deeper connection with our bodies, enabling us to recognise and understand the physical manifestations of our emotions and thoughts. This heightened self-awareness empowers us to make conscious choices and live more authentically.
Stress Reduction: In our fast-paced world, stress and anxiety have become all too common. Somatic work offers powerful tools to regulate our nervous system and manage stress. By learning to listen to our bodies and respond to their needs, we can cultivate a greater sense of calm, resilience, and well-being.
Improved Relationships: Our bodies carry the imprints of our past experiences, which can influence how we relate to others. Somatic work helps us uncover and release patterns of behaviour that no longer serve us, allowing for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. By becoming more attuned to our own bodies, we can also develop a deeper understanding and empathy for others.
Enhanced Mind-Body Connection: Somatic work bridges the gap between our minds and bodies, fostering a harmonious integration of the two. This integration leads to a greater sense of wholeness, alignment, and vitality. When our mind and body are in sync, we can tap into our full potential and live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

How to Get Started with Somatic Work

If you’re intrigued by the potential of somatic work, here are a few steps to get started:

Find a Qualified Practitioner: Look for a certified somatic coach or therapist who resonates with you. They can guide you through the process and provide a safe space for exploration and healing.
Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate a daily mindfulness practice to develop a deeper connection with your body. Pay attention to your sensations, breath, and movements, and observe without judgment.
Explore Embodiment Practices: Engage in activities that promote body awareness, such as pilates, yoga, dance, tai chi, or meditation. These practices can help you develop a greater sense of presence and embodiment.
Be Gentle with Yourself: Somatic work can bring up intense emotions and memories. Remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process. Healing takes time, and it’s important to honour your own pace.

Unlock the Wisdom Within

Somatic work offers a profound opportunity to unlock the wisdom that resides within our bodies. By embracing this holistic approach, we can heal, grow, and transform our lives in ways we never thought possible. So, why not embark on this incredible journey of self-discovery and tap into the power of somatic work? Your body is waiting to guide you towards a more vibrant and fulfilling life!

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